Another Friday morning and another hideously hypocritical festering turd of a Richard Littlejohn column infects my PC screen. In it Richard tells us that the ‘real world’ is sunny and all is well, but he still woke up yesterday wanting to slash his wrists (oh how happy the real world would be if he actually did). Why would he be feeling this way? Because of Gordon Brown of course:
It was the soul-destroying sound of Gordon Brown on the Today programme, droning on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on…
Not for the first time, I found myself shouting at the wireless – which isn’t an ideal way to start your day. Stop telling lies. Answer the damn question. For once in your life, don’t patronise us. Oh, for heaven’s sake, just shut up.
The irony of Richard Littlejohn writing this makes me want to put my fist through my PC screen, but I’d much rather Richard actually engaged with his critics in an adult debate about any of his favourite topics, because if he did that he’d be utterly destroyed. Littlejohn is too thick, too ignorant and too wrong to do this. Hence why on Question Time he forced an audience member to take back his perfectly reasonable question that he was one of the BNP’s favourite writers. Littlejohn’s blunt-headedness was entirely predictable: ‘I’ve called them knuckle-dragging scum etc in my column, so take that back’, he completely misses the point that his columns regularly attract a large BNP comment base and he provides the BNP with exactly the right blend of bullshit and outrage that they thrive on.
If Littlejohn actually engaged in a sensible debate he would realise how he fuels the BNP and shares many of the same attitudes, but as demonstrated in his clashes with Will Self and Johann Hari, he is just a blustering coward who shouts down his opponents or dishes out childish insults. Littlejohn seems to think that thanking his mail box for supporting him every now and again is engaging with his audience, or thanking some idiots who paid to attend a ‘literary’ lunch with. It isn’t Richard, how about you tackle some real questions or topics once in a while, rather than writing horseshit from a gated mansion in Florida. Perhaps if you did, you could then criticise others for not doing the same you hypocritical coward.
Before Littlejohn even got into any of the above he couldn’t resist a quick plug for his new book, claiming that sales were good. Which is a surprise given that Amazon have already started slashing the price by 50%, in preparation for the hordes of 1p copies that will be available shortly.
Here’s a tip for your Littlejohn fans on a budget: rather than waste £6.49 on his book, why not just visit the Daily Mail website and copy and paste Littlejohn’s archive into a Word Document and print it. Get a nice A4 sheet of cardboard, defecate on it, and bingo: a front cover. Which reminds me, Littlejohn’s website is back up and runninggiven that he has something else to sell – funny how it was abandoned when he wasn’t whoring anything isn’t it? Just look at it, I think the pen dripping poison is a designer having a laugh and Littlejohn isn’t in on it. Likewise, look at the title in the browser bar, he is referred to as ‘Richard Little John’, brilliant, the web designers have managed a small cock joke!
I do have some issues with accuracy though, the cartoon drawing on the front page is missing proper lines of face fat, and the grinning photo on ‘the career’ page is badly out of date – considering the bloated mess that waddled into the Question Time studio the other night. It also fails to mention what an utter lying bastard he is as well. Which is why I’m offering to set up and host an alternative Richard Littlejohn website, perhaps links to the latest blog posts on his lies, homophobia racism and general shitness. If anyone is interested in getting involved with content / running it / graphic design, email me at angrymobATuponnothing.co.uk (replacing AT with @ of course).
For now though, enjoy these comments from his latest column:
“The LibDems have unveiled a poster modelled on the Tories’ ‘Labour’s tax bombshell’ campaign in 1992. It claims, without a shred of evidence, that Conservatives are planning to put up VAT.” says Richard Littlejohn.
I’m not sure why you’re upset about someone making claims without a shred of evidence. It’s pretty well your rasion d’etre.
– ZedsDeadBed, Truro, UK, 9/4/2010 8:46 Click to rate Rating 22
I’m genuinely surprised by this. do you really get paid for churning such dull nonsense.
– David, London, 9/4/2010 0:40 Click to rate Rating 17
If the quality of this article is anything t go by its no wonder the price of your new book has been slashed only a week after its release
– Simon, Newcastle, 9/4/2010 0:53 Click to rate Rating 17