Richard Littlejohn's 'Permanent opposition'

We all know that Richard Littlejohn is a hypocritical lying, hateful, bigoted, cowardly little shit of a man. But sometimes he still manages to surprise us with just how little he cares about openly being an absolute hypocrite. Visit his website and the brave, poison-penned hero takes pains to inform us that:

Littlejohn has no party political affiliations and believes journalists should be in a state of permanent opposition and scepticism, opposed to vested interests of all political persuasions and fiercely protective of civil liberties.

His job is to sit at the back and throw bottles.

Yet today’s column is titled: ‘I’ve never been one to tell people how to vote, but…‘ I can only conclude the ‘but’ should be followed by ‘I’ll do anything for a pay cheque; as I bend over and let Paul Dacre pummel me’. In this article the master sceptic, Mr ‘permanent opposition’ and the man of no ‘vested interest’ or ‘political persuasions’ ends his article with:

Call Me Dave is the only show in town. On the basis that we can kick him out if he screws up – unlike any Lib/Lab pact under PR – anyone serious about getting us out of this mess should ignore the polls, put their reservations aside and vote Conservative.

What a cowardly, dishonest snivelling turd he is. He is saddened that UKIP cannot win as ‘I guess most people reading this would agree with almost everything in the UKIP manifesto. But UKIP can’t win’. He once again attacks the BNP because he still hasn’t grown a pair – when will come out and admit that he supports the BNP because his views are theirs, and theirs his?

His column is also centred around a complete lie. He claims that:

Shortly after 10pm [June 11 1987], when the last votes had been cast, Newsnight’s Vincent Hanna – the Michael Crick of his day – strode up to the front door waving an historic piece of paper.

It was the result of the BBC’s exit poll, predicting that Labour had won.

…Within the hour, it became apparent this was what might be called kindly a ‘rogue’ poll…

I laughed all the way back to London. Lovely, tidy, smashing.

Except, as someone over on Mailwatch points out: ‘The BBC’s exit poll in 1987 was wrong. But it still predicted a Thatcher majority of around 30 seats, not a Labour victory’ [link to pdf].

Richard Littlejohn cannot make it through a paragraph without making something up, yet people take this bullshit in. Today I think I have found someone worse than Littlejohn: Roger Lewis. Roger Lewis wrote a ‘review‘ of Littlejohn’s House of Fun in which he believes everything that Littlejohn writes:

As Littlejohn says (it’s his catchphrase): “You couldn’t make it up.”

Nor does he…

…we can all agree that these past 13 years have indeed seen more damage done to the warp and woof of our nation than was inflicted during two world wars. Individuality and privacy have been painstakingly eradicated in favour of totalitarian priorities like the community and the consensus. Orwellian CCTV cameras follow us everywhere. History and tradition have been abolished and replaced with a belief in the future, which is nebulous and literally does not exist. Universities, the repositories of higher culture, are being decimated and turned into training colleges for idiots. And so on and so forth.

If you prize free expression, this book is essential reading. I was unable to find fault with a single sentiment.

What a total moron – New Labour have done more damage than two World Wars in which millions died? Shut up. I thought the Telegraph was at least supposed to act like a newspaper for adults. I really cannot be bothered to go through Roger Lewis’ ‘review’ in any great depth, I’ll simply point out that in the first paragraph – tongue very much wedged up Littlejohn’s colossal anus – Roger Lewis writes:

Looking back at the health and safety regulations of the past few years, he practically has steam coming out of his ears as he relates how playground games such as conkers and hopscotch have been outlawed.

Except of course that the ‘conkers banned’ was a complete myth and even the original headmaster blamed for the myth has written an article explaining that it never happened. I really hate lazy journalists and writers who just believe anything that happens to suit their worldview. Roger Lewis, you’re a disgrace.

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