Stop me if you think you've heard this before

Richard Littlejohn must be the laziest columnist in the world, which is some feat considering the utter crap that the majority of tabloid columnist’s spout. Today’s column seems to be a parody of himself, he seems to cram in all of his repetitive nonsense into one badly written spoof of Dad’s Army as if he was purposely sending himself up. Littlejohn just cannot help himself, any excuse to shoehorn any topic into a ancient sitcom and he takes it – as usual backing away from any real issues like the coward that he is – no mention of Nick Griffin’s performance on Newsnight or any other big stories, just the same regurgitated and stupid points that only he and a handful of his moronic readers care about.

Still, it is hardly surprising that Littlejohn’s only mention on the BNP / Newsnight story was to try and distance himself from the BNP, as if his xenophobic, hate-filled articles aren’t actually racist. But of course they are, and his racism – and the lies he tells to justify his racism – are exactly the sort of thing that you’ll hear BNP members repeat and get worked up about (he used to be Nick Griffin’s favourite writer).

For the BNP Richard Littlejohn’s article are evidence that their worldview is correct, and he is supplying more evidence today ‘Who do you think you’re kidding, Mr Darling?‘:

This is treason, Wilson. Assemble the platoon immediately.

I’m afraid that won’t be possible, sir.

Why ever not?

The church hall has been converted into a mosque.

When did that happen?

Shortly after Mr Jones started selling only halal meat. And the police have advised the platoon not to march through Walmington-on-Sea because it might upset the local jihadists. One of them blew himself up on the top deck of the Green Line bus the other day. Made the most frightful mess.

This is monstrous, Wilson.

The message – as ever with Littlejohn – is clear: we are being invaded by foreigners (in this case he seems to be referring specifically to Muslims) and that this invasion is ‘monstrous’. The implication is that all churches have been coverted to mosques and all butchers supply only halal meat. I seem to recall that both halal butchers and non-halal butchers seem to exist side-by-side, but in Littlejohn’s world that is despicable ‘multiculturalism’ and he prefers to skip round this and simply declare that we’re being invaded.

The whole column is just hilarious because it is what you would write if you were write a satirical piece in the style of Littlejohn: ancient sitcom used as comedy vehicle: check; a conversation in which the naive is informed of the ‘truth’ by the all-knowing (the voice of Littlejohn): check; a dig about Gold reserves being sold for a pittance: check; a dig about Gordon Brown not being elected: check; a dig about quantitative easing: check; a hilarious ‘Hanki-panki’ name for an Icelandic bank: check; a dig at Muslims: check; mentioning suicide bombers: check; mentioning Mosques: check; mention fines and ‘slop buckets’: check; mention spivs: check; Brown and the pension fund: check.

The whole thing has been written a hundred times before or more… by Richard Littlejohn. How he still thinks that any of this is topical, relevant, funny or accurate is beyond me, yet Dacre still coughs up the best part of a million pounds a year for this utter shite – which I think just about sums up Dacre’s commitment to reporting truth – he is more concerned with paying people to regurgitate this sort of crap because it supports his twisted view of the world. Tabloid Watch wrote a post a few weeks back that pointed out that Littlejohn had repeated the ‘flogging gold reserves at car-boot prices’ at least 8 times, and here he is making the same point again.

As someone has pointed out in the comments it seems that Richard has used Dad’s Army as his ‘comedy vehicle’ so many times his spoofs probably outnumber the original episodes. This column certainly feels like a repeat, and not a good one at that. Actually, look here, he has written it before, just two years ago: ‘Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Darling?‘. He even used the same title. Wow, what a columnist.

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