You're taking the piss, right?

The most important rule of Daily Mail Club is you do not talk about Daily Mail Club. This means, in general practice, that if you are a Daily Mail writer you must pretend that the Daily Mail does not exist, because if you did, you’d realise everything in your article was hypocritical and / or clearly contradicting something written elsewhere by the same newspaper. The only people outside of this one basic rule are columnists, who for reasons of them being lazy, shit-for-brains twats can only base their columns on rubbish they read in the Mail.

However, for the stock Daily Mail writer – in this case Angella Johnson – you must write as if you have never heard of the Daily Mail or what it gets up to on a daily basis, how else could you open an article on Natalie Cassidy like this:

She has developed a tough skin after years of being mocked publicly for her yo-yo dieting, breast enhancement surgery and supposedly less-than-glamorous looks.

Surely, Angella, you must be taking the piss right? I mean, you must know that the Daily Mail exists to mock Natalie Cassidy?

Search her name on the Mail website and you get 97 results most of them like the following:

I could copy and paste a lot more, but I think you get the point.

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