ANGRY MOB

Mail readers today made it very clear that charity begins at home, and should preferably end at home. A staggering 75% of readers - that's 3 in 4 - voted that we should no longer be giving aid to Africa.

The poll enforces the sentiment often expressed by Mail readers that essentially in this global drive for equality and fairness the 'indigenous' white middle-class taxpayer is being forgotten. Indeed, in the current climate the middle-classes face a triple whammy of financial hardship: losses on their investments, falling house prices and the reduction of interest rates which has decimated their income from savings accounts.

It is little wonder therefore that the middle-classes are asking serious questions about the focus of this year's Comic Relief - a charity with long associations with giving money to dirty, lazy foreigners. This poll's message is clear: when are the white middle-classes going to get their share of money raised by Comic Relief?

A spokesman for Comic Relief rebuffed any suggestions that the money raised should only be spent on middle England: 'people see the plight of famine and war that Africa suffers from - largely as a result of the trade barriers and exploitation created by the civilised Western countries - and they feel compelled to do something. Every year people bath themselves in baked-beans, climb mountains or arrive at their place of work dressed like an utter moron in order to raise money. I fear if those people realised the money raised was actually going to subsidise the whinging self-titled 'middle-Englanders' they'd be more inclined to jump into a bath full of diesel with any monies raised and set fire to themselves.'

Middle-Englander-Cheerleader-in-chief Richard Littlejohn is believed to have described (via satellite phone) Comic Relief's actions of giving money to foreigners as 'PC gone mad' and a further 'nail in the coffin of a once Great Britain' - before adding that 'any African tribes fighting or starving to death is entirely a matter for them - why should we care?'