What would you do?

If your front garden was so overgrown that the Royal Mail refused to deliver your Mail would you:

  • A – tidy your garden, pruning the overgrown bush and removing the branch blocking your front door; or
  • B – complain to the Royal Mail and run to the Mail screaming ‘It’s health and safety gone mad’.

Of course, it is B every time for people who want the world to revolve around them. Here is the front garden in question, complete with the lazy, whinging pensioner who refuses to cut his garden back:

Now, in my humble opinion I’m with the postman here. Why should they traipse through this shithole that could easily be tidied up by an obstinate misanthrope who would rather spend his energy writing letters and complaining to the Mail than sort his bloody garden out? The useless tosser – Kenneth Payne – making the complaint makes it very easy to side with the post office:

‘Seventy years ago we came through the Blitz and now people can’t even do their jobs properly. It’s health and safety gone mad.’

Yes, nice one, bringing the blitz into it, as if that somehow is going to support your side of the argument. It seems like your argument could easily be turned around, Kenneth, it seems that you’re also kind of saying that 70 years ago this nation survived a blitz and now it can’t even manage to prune a bush. Or are you saying that millions died to secure your freedom to have an overgrown garden? Or millions died so that a postman could do battle with your garden each day because you can’t be bothered to tidy it up, even a tiny bit?

I don’t normally swear, but every time I see another ‘Elf ‘n’ safety gone mad’ (seriously, that was the prefix used in the headline, in a national newspaper) that is just some lazy twat moaning about how the world doesn’t want to bend over backwards just because he can’t be bothered to pull his finger out of his Daily-Mail reading arse, I just want to punch people.

It isn’t health and safety gone mad, it’s the tabloid-media-publishing-this-shit-all-the-time-because-they’re-scraping-the-barrel-for-outrage-and-sales.

28 thoughts on “What would you do?”

  1. Grrr I bet they would deliver the mail if the house was owned by a black gay one legged asylum seeking illegal immigrant Muslim sadomachism loving marxist peadeophille!!!
    (shake of fist)

  2. Has he invoked Godwin’s Law there by bringing the Blitz into it? I say he has, but Christ, I wouldn’t be willing to go in there, agree with the Post Office completely.

  3. Interestingly the best rated comments on the article come down firmly on the “tidy your fucking garden” side of the debate too. Commenters on the Mail’s website seem to be getting more sensible by the day. Except, somewhat depressingly, on stories that somehow involve immigrants, Muslims or gays. They’re still as bigoted as ever on that front.

  4. Every single word sums up how I feel about this story. If I were his neighbour, I’d probably chuck a ton of Weedol all over the path.

  5. Someone or something has clearly gone stark staring mad here, and it certainly isn’t H&S. Admittedly I haven’t always got the quality of service that I’d like from the Royal Mail, but on this one I too am going to side with the postie rather than the awkward old duffer.

  6. What a pillock!

    As a part time pizza delivery guy I can well enough sympathise with the postman, it can be very likely dark when his postal deliveries occur and tripping over someones overgrown garden is a continual hazard especially with no security light coming on, it is very easy to injure yourself doing so, will he be happy when the postman is off work for six weeks with a broken ankle!

  7. I know I’m deliberately missing the point here, but as with the Littlejohn firework recycled argument piece, there is a need to highlight the stupidity of the regulations (though perhaps not in the way that the Mail does it).

    Again referring to the Littlejohn/TV firework display: the fact that it wasn’t an actual ban should not lessen the need to highlight the deadening impact of too much red-tape.

  8. What a nitwit! Even if he cannot clear out the garden himself, then he should pay someone decent money to deal with it. Although, as they say “A stitch in time saves nine”. He should have started to do something about it when it was overgrowing. Or does he have something in there he doesn’t want us to know about?

  9. Mail latest: “Living next door to inconsiderate bone-idles who can’t be bothered to keep the front garden tidy could affect the value of your house. Probably.” 😉

  10. I’m with the hedge man. There’s more to life than gardening, and it’s HIS HOUSE. If the post deliverer (or his bosses or union or whoever) are afraid of a bit of hedge that hasn’t been trimmed to regulation cuboid shape, they should just put up with it for the fifteen seconds every day that they spend negotiating the guy’s garden.

  11. P.S. John, above, while I appreciate that your job is slightly dangerous at times, you can get round that problem by investing in a torch and / or walking a slowly at the dangerous parts.

  12. Can you imagine the Mail in any other circumstances taking the side of a man who uglies up the neighbourhood by not cutting his front lawn?

    Except for ones that involve Muslims or immigrants. Or gays. Or left wing councils. Or feminists.

    Okay, there are loads. But usually the nasty front garden man would be on the same list as all those people.

  13. You can bet the Fail would run the story in a different light if it was a housing benefit claimant and the garden was filled with rubbish and an old car


    Poltical correctness in soft touch Britain took a turn for the worse today when the Royal Mail admitted they were no longer able to deliver post to overgrown, unsafe gardens believed to be highly popular with families from Muslim countires, as asking them to clean their gardens may ‘offend their beliefs’.

  15. Compare and contrast with this DM story about the well-publicised case of the bloke in Plymouth with the giant leylandii trees;


    In this instance of extreme non-gardening, the culprit seems to be cast as some kind of oddball (hard to argue with that) and the neighbours are described as “long-suffering”. Actually it’s a pretty sensible, benign piece of journalism by Mail standards.

  16. Can’t Ian Duncan Smith send round a group of people claiming Job Seekers Allowance to tidy up the garden? He would only need to pay them a quid each and the problems sorted.

  17. Neal

    Thanks for your feedback on that BUT yes I do walk carefully and carry a torch for those gardens that are in the dark, it does not stop the issue of tripping over or slipping on wet foliage, like the postmen I do not have both hands free and you do realise how big a pizza pouch is don’t you, it totally obscures your view the same as a postman’s bag does!

    Oh, yes and while I’m trying to watch where my feet are going head height branches tend to wallop you in the face as well, yes I could look out for these and bend them out of the way but then how do I watch where my feet are going?

    If a path is kept clear these issues do not crop up. Carrying the point further, what if he had a large piece of white goods or furniture turn up, would this guy expect them to negotiate his garden? I expect he bloody well would.

  18. I’m all for calling this man a complete dick, seeming as he’s publicity hungry and buying into HSGM bullshit, but I can clearly see a gap on the right that would be easy to walk down. Maybe he’s only just cleared it but I don’t think it’s as one sided as it appears. Apart from the publicity seeking and HSGM crap.

  19. Charlie. That gap looks about 8 inches wide. There is also the large branch sticking right across the path which Postman Pat will have to clamber over. Can’t go under since the wheelie bin appears to be in the way. I wonder if the guy puts his bin on the street or expects the bin men to come get it.

  20. @ Charlie: there does appear to be a path yes, but you can’t see where it leads to, due to the mail’s photographer being in a cherry-picker for some reason (drama! i guess), but even then it’s pretty narrow, seeing as it’s between a chicken wire fence and a bramble, and we’re talking about someone carrying a large cloth bag.

    also, there seems to be a great big branch that goes in front of his door, which makes me wonder how this man gets into the house himself.

  21. If he refuses to prune his garden but still wants his mail then why doesn’t he install a US style mailbox at his front gate?

  22. Interestingly I happened to be on a H&S course yesterday, during which the topic of “H&S myths” came up, with comments by the course organiser to the effect that such myths were often perpetrated just to sell newspapers. Whilst no specific newspapers were mentioned, inevitably words such as “Mail” and “Littlejohn” popped into my head….

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