Not understanding evolution

I think you have to have a certain intellectual failing to dismiss out of hand the theory of evolution. Quite simply, as theories go, it is one of the most researched, considered and plausible explanations for the origin of complex life. I know people inclined to believe the literal word of god as ‘recorded’ in the bible will point out that it was in fact god that made the earth in 6 days etc and evolution is a big lie created by evil scientists to turn us away from pumping money into church coffers. I think what I am trying to say is that if you cannot grasp the basics of evolution then there is usually a reason for this, and the reason can boil down to two simple factors: one, you are too stupid to understand it; or two, you have been brainwashed from birth into believing the literal truth of the bible and therefore cannot engage with the theory of evolution without dismantling the very core of your being.

The chances are if you fall into category one and have the ability to read then you’ll at some point log onto the Daily Mail website to read the ‘news’ – this is fairly common practice amongst the intellectually challenged. If you happened to log on today you might even have had a look at this article: ‘Our ancestors did NOT evolve from knuckle-dragging apes, finds new study‘.

Now, my  first temptation is to make the obvious observation that if the word ‘our’ is being used to refer to the collective group of Daily Mail readers then I’d suggest that no evolution into complex human beings has actually taken place within this group anyway; so they needn’t worry about the argument of what they have evolved from. The Daily Mail and its readers seem unable to grasp that any kind of nuance exists and have two stock responses to any given situation: blame New Labour or blame immigrants.

But I digress, I wanted to post just one of the comments from someone who clearly falls into the category of ‘too stupid to understand the basics of evolution’:

Terrible grasp of punctuation: check, never heard of an apostrophe: check, unable to form correct tenses: check, utterly moronic argument: check. All perfectly consistent with the kind of moron who still believes that they have somehow used the power of their mind to disprove evolution: ‘ah, I cannot see one animal evolve into another in the world around me, therefore evolution is wrong’.

I like to think the theory of evolution can be used as a basic test of whether someone is worth talking to. For example, f you ever get into a debate with anyone, just ask them what they think of evolution as a theory, if they cannot grasp the basics or outright ‘don’t believe in it’, then cease the debate immediately – no matter what the topic – for they are an idiot and their opinion is worthless. Likewise, if you are about to employ someone or pay for services just quickly ask them about evolution, if they fail the test, then do not employ them – it’s bound to be just the tip of their ignorance.

Writing without thinking

Everyday the mentally challenged log on to the Daily Mail website to be fed their daily diet of lies, misogyny, homophobia, racism, celebrity drivel, bikini and upskirt pics; so it is no surprise that the comments section on any given article contain comments that could only come from the kind of idiot that actually mistakes the Mail website for a news source, or the Daily Mail for a newspaper.

Today’s first idiot is RonH from York who comments on this story: ‘Evil of the loan sharks: This man charged £90,000 interest on a couple’s £500 loan (but he won’t go to jail)‘. His point is this:

Bear in mind that RonH has managed to switch on a PC and navigate to the Mail website and work the commenting system to ask this question. The clue, RonH, is in the term ‘loan shark’.  A loan shark is an unlicensed money lender, and because they are not licensed they operate outside of the law. This means that they don’t have to pay any attention to the Office of Fair Trading or any other government body. This is why most people go to banks for money and not some dodgy bloke with a few grand in cash and a baseball bat.

Next up is a special kind of idiot: the one that clearly hasn’t read or understood the story properly: ‘Refuse lorry had no reversing alarm when it crushed teenage girl‘. Claire callously points out that:

If you’d read the article you’d know that the young girl was crushed by a reversing lorry that had no warning sound. The girl had entered the driver’s blind-spot when he began reversing and the young girl was crushed. Perhaps the girl had noticed the lorry parked there and was expecting to hear the warning sounds should the driver engage reverse – I  imagine most young people have grown up in a world where lorries, mini-buses, buses etc have reversing alarms. It was a sad accident and council vehicles in Rhondda Cynon Taff have now been fitted with reversing alarms to lessen the chances of it happening again. It seems to me that the story had nothing to do with the girl’s ability to cross a road and it also seems to me that Claire hasn’t even read the article properly before making a smug comment about the girl’s inability to cross a road.

And finally a complete dickhead called gparker manages to cram insane amounts of stupidity into one comment on this column: ‘My womanifesto: With Gordon on holiday Harriet Harman has launched an anti-male blitzkrieg – but what would she really be like as PM?‘. Some context: this article is an attempt by David Thomas to imagine (the classic Littlejohn opening) that Harriet Harman was Prime Minister and then writes out a ‘zealously feminist manifeston’. This attack on Harriet Harman and feminism stems from a government initiative to reduce violence committed against women and young girls – including an attempt to educate young children about domestic violence and that it is wrong. Naturally the Daily mail response was to say: ‘Isn’t this terrible, NOW feminists want men to stop beating women! It’s PC GONE MAD’ (See Enemies of reason and Mailwatch). Anyway, in response to this hilarious piece of imaginative writing gparker writes the following:

Where to start? Firstly, the Equal Opportunities Board are probably quiet because what you have just read is FICTION. It is not actually real. Secondly, the Equal Opportunities Board – I imagine, apologies if this isn’t their position on this matter – probably agree that beating women is not a right that men have. This isn’t a feminist position, it is the position of any person that just happens to care – even remotely – about the well-being of others. gparker seems to be demanding that men fight harder to retain their ‘equality’; which in this case presumably means: ‘fight harder to retain the right to beat women in the privacy of your own home’. Lastly, I imagine this fictional scenario didn’t encompass Harriet Harman becoming Prime Minister of Britain and New Zealand, so I don’t think gparker would be affected anyway.

The Daily Mail: written by twats, read by twats.

Barack Obama: Racist; Glenn Beck: Libertarian

The Mail website isn’t just home to British racists, it also holds great appeal to racists of other countries. The Mail online proudly lets commentators from across the globe write absolute rubbish which is welcomed onto the site by ‘moderators’ and voted up by other moronic readers. How else could you end up with Barack Obama being accused of ‘hating whites’ and Glenn Beck being labelled a ‘libertarian’?

The story in itself is very interesting; an African-American Professor was returning from holiday when he realised that he had lost his keys. So he and his driver had to break into the home, the Police were called and an argument about racial profiling took place and the Professor was arrested – he had proved his ownership of the home but was arrested for his actions towards the police man. Barack Obama got involved – presumably before being fully aware of the exact facts – and pointed out that African-Americans have long been victims of racial profiling, something which I do not think any sane person can deny.

Glenn Beck on Fox News then says the following (as reported by the Daily Mail):

‘This president, I think, has exposed himself as a guy who over and over and over again has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture’.He was challenged by Fox host Brian Kilmeade who pointed out that most of the people who work for Mr Obama are white and added: ‘So you can’t say he doesn’t like white people’.

Beck replied: ‘I’m not saying that he doesn’t like white people, I’m saying he has a problem. This guy is, I believe, a racist.’

So, do Daily Mail readers point out what an utter fuckwit Glenn Beck is, or do they spend their words sticking the boot into Barack Obama? I think you can all guess:

Mr President is way out of line on this one…

– Rusty, Surrey, 29/7/2009 12:13
Click to rate Rating 292

But, presumably, Glenn Beck is spot on? The comments sticking the boot into Barack Obama are well into the green:

Very confidence inspiring, a “President” who rushes to pronounce on a sensitive matter without even getting the facts straight first. Hmmmm, maybe his teleprompter had broken down again ….

– Eric, Newcastle Upon Tyne, 29/7/2009 11:38
Click to rate Rating 422

Me thinks his mask did slip a wee bit!!!

– Dave, Cockermouth Cumbria, 29/7/2009 12:44
Click to rate Rating 245

In one fell swoop Obama managed to alienate most of the dedicated, hard-working policemen and policewomen in America.

– Deb Wilson, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA, 29/7/2009 12:46
Click to rate Rating 490

Whilst Glenn Beck (a C of the highest order) is getting plenty of support:

Beck is a Libertarian, not right wing. There is a difference.

– Phyllis, ETX USA, 29/7/2009 13:16
Click to rate Rating 495

If you watched or listen you would know that Glenn Beck is not a “right-wing” which in this case sounds like a pejorative in this context. In fact Glenn Beck is a Libertarian who attacks both the Democrats and the Republicans. A libertarian is more in the middle wanting fiscal conservative and personal liberty. I also believe that we are all using the word “racist” incorrectly we should be using bigot instead.

– Joe Styme, newark, USA, 29/7/2009 12:59
Click to rate Rating 362

Joe from Newark keen to point out that Barack Obama is not racist, he is actually a bigot. Wonderful that 362 people agree with this comment. As for Fox News – the kind of news station that you’d associate with a fascist dictatorship (which, I guess, is what most mainstream media is) it is getting plenty of support as well:

fox news is a joke of a news channel

– davidh, bath, 29/7/2009 12:16
Click to rate Rating 142

And is much better than the BBC:

Fox (Faux) News is the very best example of why we must ensure that we retain the BBC in this country!

– cp, Kent UK, 29/7/2009 13:44
Click to rate Rating 262

The Daily Mail website: racists of the world, unite and take over.

Conspiracy of the day

A Daily Mail reader on Littlejohn’s latest defecation (‘No wonder Cherie’s got Swine Flu. The Blairs have had their snouts in the trough for years‘):


If this was a man-made drug to reduce the world population, it isn’t doing a very good job. In the UK it has killed less than 40 people. Hardly going to free up social housing or unclog the motorways is it?

If you have an affair you deserve to be killed

Daily Mail readers are not exactly known for their compassion, so I can’t say I was entirely surprised to see this article jumped on by Mail commentators: ‘Saudi princess given asylum in UK over fears she faces execution for having illegitimate child with British lover‘. Now having an affair is probably a bad thing, but I cannot say it deserves punishment by execution, Mail readers on the other hand do:

She shouldnt have had an extra marital affair then should she…- Soul, Uk, 20/7/2009 11:45
Click to rate Rating 138

Oh so the poor creature didn’t know the Quran? Didn’t know the punishment for cheating? So easy to commit a crime, so hard to face up to it…shame on her.

– Vis, Milan, Italy, 20/7/2009 11:38
Click to rate Rating 512

I’m sorry but she knew what she was doing send her elsewhere.

– Violet, Paris, France, 20/7/2009 11:33
Click to rate Rating 201

Her affair, her decision, her problem.

Send her packing.

– ScotchEggsRule, London, 20/7/2009 11:32
Click to rate Rating 119

At least the comments are in the red – that is some consolation. However, why did so many people feel the need to basically state ‘send her back, she’s not our problem’ – I only picked a couple of examples. Why do Mail readers treat people who live outside of the UK so badly. Here is a women who had an affair, something that happens all over the world and isn’t necessarily a sign that a particular person is evil, but a sign that they are human. Yet Daily Mail readers have dehumanised asylum seekers to the extent that people threatened with execution just for having an illegitimate child are told to bugger off back to where they came from them and take what is coming to them.

All human beings are 99% genetically identical – as much as this fact may horrify Daily Mail readers – so surely we should show a little compassion for those not blessed to live in a liberal society?