|
The catchphrase ‘you couldn’t make it up’ has been used by Richard Littlejohn for years for two main effects: firstly, taken literally it implies that what he is writing must be fact; and secondly, as it is usually accompanied by a exclamation mark, it is used to signify that this ‘factual’ idea / information / news story that the phrase is linked to is nevertheless ridiculous (the phrase invites the reader to shake their head in disbelief or mock whatever has followed or gone before the phrase). Those that read Littlejohn regularly repeat this catchphrase and use it in exactly the same way. However, when you actually analyse the phrase you start to realise how contradictory and nonsensical it is. For example, the phrase serves to highlight the inherent reality of whatever it is that Littlejohn is addressing whilst simultaneously implying that whatever it is should not exist, or is somehow beyond belief. This poses a question: if a notion is truly beyond belief, then how does it exist? Or to put it a slightly different way: if ‘you could not make it up’, then how has it come into existence? The only alternative to human invention is that whatever it is that Littlejohn is complaining about is in fact a natural phenomenon, or has been created by some alien being or beings. As Littlejohn does not accuse aliens of championing ‘elf ‘n’ safety’, nor suggest that it has been created by natural forces, the only logical conclusion to come to is that the story is untrue (as it is beyond the capacity of humanity to invent such a thing – ‘you couldn’t make it up’). Critics of Richard Littlejohn often point this out by examining what idea / notion / news story Littlejohn is actually applying the phrase to. Often the story is a gross exaggeration, or it is simply not true. This seems to support the argument that the phrase actually implies the essential untruth of what information is being prefixed or suffixed by this phrase. The phrase therefore, rather than reinforcing Littlejohn’s worldview, actually serves to demonstrate how his worldview is fundamentally false. The reason for this is that Littlejohn’s ‘you couldn’t make it up’ stories always concern human inventions – normally health and safety legislation or some similar ‘evil’ – therefore clearly, if the story was truthful then someone actually would have had to not only ‘make it up’ but also make the idea a reality. To state that ‘you couldn’t make it up’ would imply that no-one has the imagination to even think of such a thing, let along bring it into reality, so the story must therefore be a lie. Littlejohn is certainly not averse to at worst, deliberately lying to his readers, or at best being too ignorant to actually research what he writes to ensure it actually bears any relation to reality. For example he spent a couple of separate columns in October 2008 writing about how ‘elf ‘n’ safety’ had virtually banned the use of ladders for fireman and in other working environments. However, the Health and Safety Executive had already written to the editor of the Daily Mail the month before stating: Richard Littlejohn’s flippant approach to ‘elf’n’safety’ is not only inaccurate, but trivialises a serious issue. There are no health and safety laws banning ladders. The Work at Height Regulations were introduced in 2005 and since then the use of ladders for minor work at building sites has continued legally and safely. This raises one final point, if the stories that ‘you couldn’t make up’ turn out to be lies, then the phrase is also false in the sense that you clearly can make it up, as this is precisely what Richard Littlejohn does in every column. Perhaps then, we can draw a conclusion about what the phrase means: ‘you couldn’t make it up’ is actually directed at the reader of the column, as in: ‘you haven’t the ability to invent this rubbish’. Therefore, the phrase is actually missing a second part which would make the phrase meaningful: ‘but I can / do / have*’. Without these final three words the phrase, as explored above, is utterly meaningless. *delete as applicable
As an aside, the phrase is used more widely to imply that fact is weirder than fiction. Now, I understand the vague logic behind this, but again, as these strange facts not only exist but have been created by humanity, they have in fact been ‘made up’ so the phrase still makes no sense.
|
