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Richard Littlejohn often declares that he isn't against immigration, but against immigrants 'refuse to learn English or integrate into our society'. Now the word 'integration' has always bothered me when it is used in terms of integrating into a society, how is a person supposed to do this? Are they supposed to integrate with lower-class society, underclass, middle, middle-upper or high-class society? Are they not considered integrated if they don't attend local groups - such as line dancing on a Wednesday evening?
Integration is such a woolly, indefinable idea that of course it is an easy stick to beat immigrants with, and it is easy for racists like Richard Littlejohn to proclaim that they don't really mind foreigners, as long as they behave utterly British as soon as they cross the border. Given that Richard Littlejohn lives in a gated mansion in Florida I wonder whether he is properly integrated into American society. I was born and raised in England and have now lived in Wales for the last 6 years, am I properly integrated in this society?
Sure, I have bought a house, I have a job and a fiancee, but have I exchanged more than 50 words with any neighbours in the year I have lived in my house - no, have I learnt the local language - no, do I attend line-dancing classes or other local activities - no. So am I integrated? I commute back and forth to work and only spend time with my fiancee and close friends during the week, I keep myself to myself pretty much as I only have limited leisure time. I imagine I am not alone in living this kind of lifestyle and I wonder if I happened to be an immigrant in the UK whether this behaviour would be seen as a failure to integrate, and whether I'd be despised for this failure.
I recently stumbled across a new blog - Left Outside - and noticed that they had a post on the UK Citizenship Test, so in order to test whether I deserved to live in the UK I took the test. Here is my result:
You have failed the practice citizenship test.
Questions answered correctly: 13 out of 24 (54%)
In order to pass the test you must score 75%. I would like anyone with a spare five minutes (it is a multiple choice test and should not take any longer) to take the test and see whether they are judged to be worthy of residence in the UK - I think you'll find the questions scarily obscure. Quite what being able to answer such questions achieves I am not sure, as I'm pretty sure most people born UK citizens would struggle to get the required 75%.
If you do complete the test, post your results below, I am genuinely interested if I'm alone in failing this test. No cheating, don't Google the answers!
Click here to take the test. |
Ah well, I never felt like I fitted in...
Seriously - this is a citizenship test? Sounds like someone made it up down the pub.
Questions answered correctly: 16 out of 24 (67%)
Time taken: 03 minutes 50 seconds
Please deport me immediately back to the Rupublik of Mancunia.
There'll be blue birds over, the white cliffs of Dover.
Am I allowed to sing that Mr Griffin?
Questions answered correctly: 13 out of 24 (54%)"
many uttterly pointless questions, and some of the options offered were just stupid. i know multipul choice shouldn't be easy, but if there is barely any difference between one given option and the next the only people who are going to pass it are thoughs who've literally just read the booklet, not people who have learnt useful and long term retainable information.
I didn't know how many children under 19 there are in the country and that 13-16 year olds can work 12 hours a week.
This is the pointless test ever. Which clearly can only be passed by swotting up on the book, not by actually spending any time engaging in the local community.
Idiotic.
What struck me was the pointlessness of some of the Q's. Do we really need to know the exact number of days schools open? Whilst it would be easy to swot up on the info in the booklet,(a tenner please) it then becomes an English comprehension exercise. I could do the same for any country and then hide away in my ex-pat Shangri-la.
As with a previous commenter, I'm a bit of a quiz nut. I actually play in the local league and whilst I'm not quite Kevin from eggheads I know a lot of junk.
I'd love to see what Daily Mail bigots get. They's put 90% for the number of Muslims in their street!
/I tried the test a few weeks ago and failed
What I would like to point out though, is that often when the matter of 'integration' is raised, the Mail and its ilk always stress the importance of immigrants understanding 'Britishness' in terms of either social niceties that seem to have stood still in 1976, or in terms of 'kings, battles and dates' (KBD) history.
There's a problem here. In the first area, customs vary across the country. Try striking up a conversation with a stranger on the tube or at a bus stop in Newcastle - you'll get a very different reaction than if you tried the same in London. In Newcastle, the person would likely be happy to chat to pass the time. In London, they'd think you a nutter.
Then the problem of KBD history. It's VERY selective, boiling down essentially to Battles We Won, Rulers We Like and Ooh He's Famous. I studied Medieval History at degree level - it's a massive, criss-crossing tangle of, erm, stuff with events influenced and decided by personalities, random chance, good intentiions, mistakes, weather, social movements...and the Mail boil it down to "...and Churchill made some excellent speeches, and with a little help from Johnny Yankee we won the war."
So back to subject - good to see the test covers the practicalities of life in the UK rather than obsessing over a past that is poorly understood by those who so often claim to be so proud of it.
Obviously, it's important to know what year women could divorce and how many parliamentary constituencies there are. It's also vital to the smooth running of society that all citizens know exactly how many people aged under 19 are already here.
Questions answered correctly: 13 out of 24 (54%)
Time taken: 06 minutes 08 seconds
Please select 'Test summary' for a full summary of your test and for advice on how to use the Official Handbook and Study Guide to prepare for the actual test.
Ulster Scots indeed.
Imagine if every British resident had to take this test tomorrow, with all failures being kicked off the island. The only people left would be immigrants and Kevin from Eggheads.
I consider myself to be a pretty intelligent individual but for some reason I don't know how many hours a 13 year old child is legally allowed to work in a week. What a ridiculous test. I've lived here
You have failed the practice citizenship test.
Questions answered correctly: 16 out of 24 (67%)
So that makes me two thirds British and one third .... ? *SIGH* guess it's Uncle Nick's big deportation boat for me, then, eh? Anyone know where it's off to? Think it could drop me off in the Maldives? And what do you reckon my chances are of asking Gordy for my taxes refunded for spends? ;-)
I suppose it's a fair cop really. I might have been born in Britain to British parents, lived in Scotland all my life, raised a British citizen but c'mon, I don't even know when women in this country got the right to divorce their husband or how many people under 19 are even in this country. CLEARLY, I'm a terrible excuse for a Brit and don't deserve to be here :-(